I am so frustrated that I just want to scream. Every day is a struggle with Donovan. Not a single flippin’ day can go by without having to argue with him about some stupid thing or another. It is always the same stupid shit over and over and over again. Nothing I say ever makes a difference. I am so frustrated that all I want to do is break stuff, scream my freakin’ head off, or break down sobbing,… or some combination therein. I can feel my blood pressure rising just as I sit here. Why do I have to have the same conversation repeatedly, and NOTHING EVER CHANGES. It is ridiculous and I am at a complete loss! I yeall, I talk, I cry, I scream, and none of it matters or makes a difference.
I swear the kid thinks the world revolves around him. None of the rest of us peons even register on his radar screen. It isn’t that he actively thinks of us and then dismisses us; he just doesn’t even register that there is anyone else around here that matters. I am so sick of that lack of consideration for others. And every time it is brought up to him, he looks at me like I am an idiot and that he has never heard these things before. Is he freakin’ kidding me? We go through this on an almost daily basis and he is going to sit here and act like he doesn’t have a clue? The eye rolling is what really got me. To stand in front of me while getting yelled at and roll his eyes at me? Totally uncalled for and inappropriate. He acts like a jerk and I get the shit? I think not.
I feel like I am losing my mind with him. The constant struggle, the constant arguments. Most of the time, he is a great kid. He is smart and funny and a blast to hang out with. But when the mood hits, it’s all over. He can go from 0 to 60 in a hot minute and you won’t even see it coming. He will turn into a jerk so fast your head will spin, arguing just for the sake of it, acting like he is superior to us all.
Frankly I think his intelligence is going to his head. He IS a VERY smart kid, and that is great. But it isn’t everything. He has spent his whole life being told by teachers and family that he is smart as hell and I think it has given him a superiority complex. Being intelligent and getting good grades is wonderful, but it isn’t everything. It takes more than being smart to be a good person. It takes kindness and consideration, respect and compassion, too. And he has all of that,… for everyone else but his family, at least most of the time. He bends over backwards for his friends and he would never DREAM of treating/talking to his teachers or grandparents the way he does me. But, damn it, his family deserves that same consideration and respect. He is all about equal rights, tolerance, respect, and acceptance of others, regardless of sexuality, color or beliefs. I guess I feel that it is a bit hypocritical of him to preach that, but treat his family the way he does sometimes.
I think the whole thing is just made worse because of the comparison between the way he is when all is well. He is just SO much fun when he wants to be that it makes this bullshit all that much worse. It isn’t even 0800 and I want a drink,… or 12!