Clearly I wronged someone in a past life and my sins have come back to bite me in the ass in the form of boy children. Sometimes I wonder if I have gone so far around the bend of insanity that I am actually speaking in tongues and don’t realize. That would explain the inability for my man children to listen and retain any and all information imparted to them. It’s either that or my children have either extreme selective hearing OR they have extremely early onset of Alzheimer’s. Either way, I am going to lose what is left of my mind. I’m sure of it.
Not too long ago, our Ice Age DVD broke so I bought both of the first two movies on sale at Amazon to replace it. I got them the 3rd one, and a companion DVD, for Christmas and suddenly the first two are missing. So when the middle two returned home from school, they were given the mission to find the movies. Not only did they fail in their mission, they were discovered to have totally trashed their room, just days after they were supposed to have sanitized it. That extended their mission from simply a search & rescue mission, to a full on field sanitation mission. It was amazing just how long a 15 minute job can take when you are pissed at your mom. Sucks to be them.
That was nothing, however, compared to the events of this morning and one Ka’lani Keller, age 12. As most of you know, for the next few months, we have two soldiers staying with us, Jason and Trevor. Well, Jason is having some medical issues that put the kabash on caffeine intake. To me, that would be a fate worse than death since I thoroughly ♥ my coffee, but you do whatcha gotta do! With that in mind (his medical issues, not my insane yen for coffee), I packed up my freshlypurchased caffeinated tea bags and bought a new box of Salada decaf ones, all for the daily gallon of iced tea that I also inhale. Once the evil caffeinated ones were packed up, I put the storage container on the top of the cabinets, a place where no sane person would put anything they use with any regularity, since it would require wings for flying or climbing on counters to retrieve it. Multiple times, I told young Master Ka’lani to forget they were there, to NOT use them, since he is the tea guru in the house. “Okay, Mom” I heard several times in that exasperated voice that only a child can do so well. I showed him the new box of Salada bags, in the same place where we always keep the tea bags for iced tea. The caffeinated ones come in a big box so I have a smaller plastic container that I replenish from the bigger box as I use them. That smaller box was sitting on the counter, empty, when Ka’lani went to go make fresh tea last night. Apparently, the child had a massive brain fart, and couldn’t figure out why it was empty when it had been freshly filled the previous day. So he came to me and asked. I rem inded him of the new blue box of tea bags that he was supposed to use, and told him he could empty that into the plastic container, since it is airtight. Nodding his head in acceptance and implied understanding, he turned and beat feet into the kitchen, about 7.5′ away. This morning, I was standing at the coffee maker (next to where the tea bags are kept), pouring my first blood of life, when I noticed that the plastic box held not the decaf bags, but the caffeinated ones, the very ones I had told him NOT to use. The blue box of decaf was still sitting in its spot, sealed, and the plastic container was right on top of it. I questioned him,… loudly. I got no useful answers. But I have to ask myself several things,…
- How did he not see the blue box of tea in the exact spot where the tea bags are always kept?
- How did seeing the previously filled plastic box now empty not remind him?
- And when it didn’t, how did he manage to forget in less than 30 seconds that I told him to use the blue box tea when he came and asked why the box was empty?
- Why didn’t the fact that he had to climb on a counter and stand up on it to reach the caffeinated tea container not give him a clue that perhaps something was different?
- Why didn’t the fact that the tea bags were in a totally different container and a completely different location clue him in?
- And finally, WHAT THE HELL?!!!!!
And here ends my rant of the day!