I think trying to remain unique and having my own identity is becoming a neverending battle of uselessness.
That was my Facebook status yesterday evening and my stepbrother CJ made a brilliant comment on it. He said that it is sometimes pointless because when you are trying not to conform, you are really conforming to anti-conformity, which is conforming in and of itself, just in the opposite direction than the usual. On the surface, that sentiment is confusing as all hell, but he is right. And to take it a step further, if every time you do something in an effort to be unique and someone immediately copies it,… you are no longer unique anyway.
I think creativity is a big part of uniqueness and personal identity. In my mind, being creative is taking something and seeing it in a new light or making it into something new. It’s doing something or being something that is different from those around you. Creativity can take so many forms: art, hobbies, how you do your hair, clothes that you wear or make, etc. When you copy someone else, you aren’t being creative; you are being a clone. It’s one thing to use another person’s creative output as inspiration to find your own niche. It’s another to use it as a exact template for your own.
In a world where it isn’t always socially acceptable to be different, I embrace my creativity, my non-conformity. I don’t want to look like or be anything other than who and what I am. I don’t care if people don’t understand or accept it. It’s not about them. It’s about me. I don’t want to be a cookie cutter copy of someone else. I find myself having to constantly find new things to differentiate myself, and that drives me nuts. If I stay true to my own thing, I become a carbon copy. If I change, I lose things that mean something to me. When I can’t do anything without it being snaked away from me, I find it stifling and frustrating as hell. There is an entire world of creatively expressive possibilities out there. Find your own thing and make it your own.
What is with all the snarkiness on Facebook lately? I have seen more statuses advertising that they were going to delete friends and I just don’t get why that’s necessary. Not the deleting part; delete away if that’s what you want to do. But what’s with the need to advertise it first, especially when it’s in conjunction with snarky comments? It just seems kind of mean-spirited, like they are rubbing it into those they are about to delete. Why not just delete them if you are going to, and stop stirring up the drama? Is it your intention to be hurtful? I just don’t see what the point of that is.
And then these statuses informing their friends that if they see any more comments about <insert random topic>, then they are going to delete them, too. Really? You can’t just respect other people’s right to post what they want on their own account? You can’t just skip on by like everyone else if you don’t want to read it? I just find that to be kind of presumptious. I mean, really, if it is that big a deal to you, delete me, but don’t threaten me with our friendship. Seriously, people. If you are truly friends, then I would hope you would be mature enough to accept one another. And if you can’t, then I guess you aren’t really friends anyway.
It’s so easy for people to treat each other like crap when they are sitting behind the relative anonymity of a computer monitor. It’s so easy to forget common courtesy. I wonder if these same people would say the same things if they were face to face?
Apparently Mother’s Day is just another day to say “screw you” to me. Not one of the three children still living here even remembered it was Mother’s Day until it was pointed out to them. I didn’t even hear from the fourth until moments ago, although his friends wished me a happy day HOURS before he did. But, hey, at least he remembered at some point. Quel surprise for all of it. No phone call from the husband, although at least he has being in a war zone as an excuse. The constant sniping and whining today over the dumbest of things has touched off my last nerve. It has been unbelievable today, worse than even usual. Did they save it up just to make this day extra special?
With the exception of some brief sucking up after getting yelled at this morning for some incredible rudeness and self-centeredness, not one of them has even spoken to me all day, except to be rude, to nag me, or to ask for stuff. I have been crying most of the day and I’m not even sure any of them have even noticed. Yay for motherhood.
Yeah, I am pretty much done. Once in awhile, it would be simply lovely to be celebrated instead of taken for granted, to come first.
I am so ridiculously sick of being harrassed and threatened and warned, just because of the things I feel or believe in and have the apparent audacity to verbalize. I guess I feel that I am a big girl, I can feel however I want without recrimination. Disagree with me all you want, argue with me all you want; that’s the beauty of our lives here. We can do that, and should do that. That’s how you learn, how you evolve, how things change. But we are all adults, at least chronologically, so is it really too much to expect some open-mindedness, common courtesy, and respect for and from one another? Dissenting opinions are going to happen. People come at things from all different places in life. We all have our own life experiences, and we all have knowledge picked up from a thousand different sources. So people are going to disagree with you. Get over it. It’s okay. Ripping another apart over it isn’t going to do anything to make them change their minds. All it does is take away any intellectual credibility you might have had.
I’m done with the nasty anonymous emails. Have the guts to stand behind your words and use a name because otherwise, you are just a coward. Staying anonymous only shows me one thing,… that you are fully aware that you are behaving badly. Sending wishes that my husband be killed in action while he’s in Afghanistan? That is just classless and ignorant and shows what kind of person you really are.
I am done with being told how to feel, what I should believe, or what I can say. I have earned my right to feel, believe and say what I want. Just like you have. Don’t threaten me with your friendship because real friends could agree to disagree. I don’t need to be told what I can and can’t say on my own blog or social media. I am not inflammatory in language, so if you can’t handle it, that’s your choice, but don’t use our friendship as a weapon to control and censor me.
I’ve listened and read so many different opinions over the past few days and the ones that stick out are the ones that don’t need judgements and nastiness to get the point across. True, many of those, I still don’t agree with, but they have good points and I can understand their views a little better. And sometimes those points make me rethink my own position and realize that they might be onto something. That’s called open-mindedness, people. Their lives and knowledge have just led them to a different place than my own has. And that’s perfectly okay.