It's been an enlightening week, full of ups and downs. It started out with downward spiral Monday afteroon and I spent the evening feeling completely overwhelmed and frustrated. It just seemed that, no matter how much I may try to pull myself up, there is always something right there to pull me down. But giving in and giving up would have too easy and I am pretty happy with myself that I didn't. Making a conscioous effort to read "quest-related" stuff, to blog, and to spend some time every day with and for me has helped, too.
One of the goals of The Receiving Project is to open yourself up to the good things that are around you, to focus less on the negative and more on the positive. Sometimes you can get so bogged down in the cesspool of crap that it really is hard to see a whole lot of positive. Crap accumalates and seeing over it can be ridiculously hard. That is what today's RP goal is about, how to recognize a gift when you get one. Kind of appropriate because I had one of those moments last night while talking to the hubs. We got talking about weight and health, and the angst I have over both. My weight is a big issue for me… no pun intended. It is in no small part caused by a fairly massive health issue, both directly and indirectly. Indirectly because I am generally feeling so crappy that exercising just makes me feel even worse. Ddirectly because my issue itself puts weight on me. Moving tto Arizona and the different, dryer climate should help considerably, but this has been going on for years. Feeling like hell all the time without a break has definitely contributed to the rut I have found myself in, too. My gift came from my husband last night in the form of a comment that he has made numerous times before. I have no idea why this time was any different, or why it hit me the way it did. But it did. "I don't give a damn how much you weigh, as long as you are finally healthy." The tone of his voice was so sincere, so adamant. It made me feel so much better about being fluffy!
I found a new meme that I thought sounded fun, the Friday JoyJam. Each week, you list 3 to 5 things that happened that week that brought you joy. You can do it in a regular list, in pictures, in poem, in any way.
- I didn't give up my quest when the going got tough.
- My hubby made me feel pretty damn loved.
- I feel like I am making headway in changing things.