Despite my love for my blog therapy, I have been completely unable to get beyond a sentence or two for a few weeks. I have been so completely overwhelmed with stress with the baby and with school that I often feel like a broken record. Not even my blog has helped relieve that.
I was supposed to have my amnio on this past Monday, which would have meant answers by Friday. Well, that didn't happen so I have had a non-stop series of mini-breakdowns since Friday afternoon. The OB's office called me mid-afternoon Friday and told me that Obstetrix (the high risk pregnancy center out of Tuscon) had not received the Tricare referral number they needed. Tricare has been a mess since they switche carriers from TriWest. Things are backlogged, records screwed up. I have spent a good portion of my time on th phone with them, trying to get my referrals straight. It hasn't helped matters that, in the midst of this, I switched OBs, too. So I called Tricare. It was still pending but they told me that if I had Obstetrix call the Medical Management office, they would immediately set it straight and everything would be okay. So I called Obstetrix, but they weren't the referring office; the OB was. I called the OB office back, told them this, and the receptionist refused to call because she thought it would take too long. I had already had one attempt at the amnio so she had me call Obstetrix back ang get that referral number because it should be the same. Turns out I never should have had the attempt because it was never in the system for referral. They had called my old OB that day and she submitted the referral for the retry appointment, the one that is pending. When I switched OBs, all the referrals in place with her switched one for one to my new doctor, so there was no issue there. I called the OB once again and the receptionist absolutely refused to even attempt it. Now I understand not being able to spend hours on the phone, waiting for an answer, but she could have at least tried. I talked to those people about 4 times in this process and had no problem getting through. By this time, I was in tears. Nothing I said made a difference, despite the fact that my stress and angst was very obvious. So no appointment. I have an OB appointment tomorrow and something better change with this.
I realize that many probably think I am making too big a deal out of this, but it is what it is for me. I recognize that part of my problem is the horrific experience I had with the first OB, but some of it is because I know just how high risk I am. My gestational diabetes, while borderline, still isn't always where they want it to be, no matter how I eat. My glyberide doses have changed so maybe that will help. But the fact remains that there a lot of things that can go wrong. And as my original OB has repeatedly told me, there is still a good chance that my baby will have issues that are incompatible with life. The longer this amnio, and my answers, get put off, the more my options and choices diminish. The bottom line is that I need answers. The stress is not doing me any good. I cry a ton and I spend a whole lot of time not sleeping.
I love my school; I truly do. My issues are simply with this one professor. Nothing seems to be getting any better on the school front. No matter what I or my mentor do, my professor seems to be completely unmotivated to do anything at all. The semester is over on Friday and I am no closer to a resolution of it than I was before the semester began. My mentor has tried to get results; I have tried to get results. Nothing. It is truly irritating.
SUNY Empire State is the biggest in the SUNY system, with campuses all over the place, including overseas and on military posts. I go to the Center of Distance Learning portion of it. They offer classes in a bunch of different formats. Most of mine are regular CDL online classes, taken through the Angel bulletin board system. I also take a lot of independent study, thanks to my creative writing major. Those are either through the CDL itself or considered to be "college-wide," where the instructors are assigned to specific campuses with my university. Both of my classes in crisis are with the same professor, CW independent studies with her assigned to the Central New York zone.
Because she is not CDL, my mentor has had to go through her local boss, upon whom I am waiting for a phone call to discuss my issue. With the semester two days from the end, a resolution would be nice. Fortunately for me, I am a email hoarder and have proof up the wazoo. A bunch of resolutions have been suggested by my mentor, so I guess I will see,
- Resolution 1: Withdraw without penalty, but then I would have to pay back my tuition.
- Resolution 2: Have her get her act together and spend my summer "off" finally doing the courses.
- Resolution 3: Find another teacher teach these classes, but they are obscure subject.
- Resolution 4: Find another teacher to teach me other classes that fulfill the same requirements.
Frankly, I need answers and resolutions here, too. GRRR!