The last two weeks have been insane and nonstop drama.  Let’s see, it all began with the poop storm within my apartment,… literally.  Just moments after Ashley and Donovan left for school last Friday, I heard the sudden whoosh of a large amount of water.  So I walked back towards the bathrooms, only to discover that water was pouring from the hallway ceiling and light fixture right outside the master bath, as well as from the top of the door leading to the master bedroom.  Upon further investigation.I discovered there was a deluge inside that bath, pouring from the vent inside.  Within seconds it was deep enough that I had to roll up my jeans and I was in ankle deep water.  Thank the Goddess, I was wearing a dark blue t-shirt, or it would have gotten obscene in moments, because the thing was sticking to me, soaking wet.  So, I headed upstairs to tell my neighbor that her bathroom was exploding into my house and to get her to turn off her water,… which she never did.  So she called the maintenance guy and the real fun began!  My ceiling rained for over two hours, flooding several feet into both back bedrooms, and 2/3 of the way down the hall.  The mildew began almost immediately, as it was a hot day.  Being as that I am deathy allegric to the stuff, that is NOT a good time!  Our Slum Lord gives NO authority to the maintenance guy, Wayne, so we were stuck in a giant hell hole for freakin’ HOURS until the Slum Lord returned Wayne’s repeated calls.  As the water slowed, we also realized that this was NOT clean water, but poopy water,… which I was now wearing.  In my hair.  On my clothes.  On my skin.  Lovely.  Corey came home early, not an easy feat for a soldier, since it became clear that this was not going to be good.  This all started at about 0730, and Slum Lord didn’t call in until,… wait for it,.. 1430.  And even then, he wouldn’t listen to Wayne’s recommendation that the two bedrooms, the hallway and both bathroom floors needed to be ripped up.  No, apparently he had to see it for himself.  So, we got to live in mildew, poo-infested hell until he decided he could get his lazy ass here to look at it at 1630.  Only to determine the same damn thing that Wayne had been telling him.  All those hours wasted that we could have been getting this crap fixed.  So we basically had until 0800 the next morning to completely empty 2 bedrooms, all while trying to live in the house.  The smell was overwhelming.

So, bright and early at 0800, Wayne arrived to tear up the rugs.  He had left us two huge fans the night before which definately helped with the smell, at least a little.  But even more of a help was the fact that he let us use the empty apartment across the hall for our big stuff, since these places are too small to unload rooms and still be able to live safely.  Then Corey and I got to spend the day cleaning up leftover carpet padding, major sweeping and a serious mopping of the cement subfloors with antibacterial stuff.  It was a delight.  The only upside is that it gave us a surface to be able to paint on without worrying too much about drips.  So I took advantage and Corey and painted some bookshelves candy apple red and they are now in my living room, creating shelf space in my crafty nook.  The down side was that the carpet and linoleum guy wasn’t coming until Monday morning, according to Slum Lord.  So that meant living in chaotic hell for the weekend, what fun.  But come Monday morning, we discovered the guy wasn’t coming until after lunch.  Well, “after lunch” came and went and no carpet guy.  Mind you, Corey had gotten his NCO to give him the day off to help me move the big stuff back in, so we had limited time.  So when, you might ask, did the guy finally show up?  1630!!  Yes, 4:30pm for the civilians.  One guy started with the bedrooms and the other started with the bathrooms.  They had to take out the toilets to lay the linoleum and when they did, they discovered that the walls in the OTHER bathroom were rotted out and they wouldn’t be able to replace the toilet when they were finished with the floor, so no toilet in that one until TUESDAY morning.  And if that weren’t enough, they also discovered that the tank bolts were rusted through, unable to be replaced.  So by the time we were finished, we ended up with 2 new carpets in the back 2 bedrooms, linoleum in the 2 baths, new hallway carpet and 2 new toilets.  Of course the living room and the other two bedrooms don’t match the new rug, and the playroom, kitchen, laundry room and foyer no longer match the bathrooms.  And I pay for this. 

You would think that would be enough, right?  WRONG!  That’s what you get for thinking!  The ceiling in the master bath is soaked and the smell is still overpowering, of poop AND of mildew and mold.  Wayne replace the vent with a whole new fan, filter, etc., but it isn’t helping.  On top of that, it is mildewing all across the ceiling and I can’t even take a shower without being ill.  I give up trying to deal with Slum Lord since apparently having boobs and ovaries makes you worthless, so Corey has been trying and trying to get ahold of him to fix the damn thing.  I love Wayne, but his hands are tied by the Slum Lord, so I blame him.  In a big, hateful way.  Because apparently as long as he doesn’t have to allow things to be fixed properly, I get to have the privlege of paying to live in a place that makes me ill.  <insert curse words here>