Mother’s Day boycott
What a joke. Another day of the year that I can be ignored, used, and taken for granted. What a cause for celebration. NOT!! I frankly would love to forget the day exists altogether. It isn’t even quite 7am and already I have been reduced to sobbing tears by my kids. They can’t even get it together in a time when I least want to deal with the BS. I don’t get it. They can be the most loving, good-natured children in the world, but when it comes to responsibility? Forget it. They just don’t ever think about anything other than the moment and what they want to do next. Sometimes they get so self-absorbed that it drives me insane.
Whoever said boys were easier to raise than girls has obviously NOT spent time in a house with 4 boys. I have boys at 4 different ages, 4 different stages of life, 4 different personalities. When you have a household of this size, ESPECIALLY when I am alone most of the time, you have to have rules and responsibilities. Our rules are pretty basic and they apply to everyone, regardless of age. The responsibilities are a little harder to dole out, partly because, being a SAHM, I do alot of it myself. Then you have the differences in age and abilities, and school work and activities. So their chores involve basic stuff like keeping their rooms and bathrooms picked up, garbage day stuff and pet care. Very little in the grand scheme of things. But is a struggle nonetheless, one that I am completely sick of.
I always fold everyone’s laundry for them and separate it by kid and by time of clothing so it is easy for them to take it and put it away in their rooms. Some time ago, I was having problems with Ka’lani and Scott getting their clothes mixed up when they were put in the same basket. So I bought 4 canvas baskets, in 4 different colors, 1 for each child. Now, I put their laundry in those so that everyone’s clean clothes are clearly separate. Lately, I have been noticing that far less is coming out of the laundry from Scott and Ka’lani than what should be going in. Looking in their room, I saw no dirty clothes. Well, yesterday I solved the mystery of the missing clothing when I went in the room. There was a GIANT stack of dirty clothes hidden behind something. It was smelly and gross and I was so not happy. One of the kids’ rules is that when they change out of school clothes, the dirty ones go immediately into the laundry room into the basket. Obviously, that didn’t happen. When they got home, I asked them about it and didn’t get a good answer, although what would have been a good answer?! Regardless, it is a simple rule and I cannot get them to follow it.
Another rule is that after dinner, they are to put away their laundry and, if there is school the next day, get clothes out for the next day. They are also supposed to be sure they have everything ready for the next day of school. These two are Donovan’s favorites to ignore. He NEVER puts his laundry away at night, but does it in the morning when he is getting ready for school. I can live with that,… except that his idea of putting away laundry is, more often than not, dumping the whole basket into his chair and calling it a day. Uh, no. And he knows perfectly well that he has track practice every day after school and that he needs to pack up his running clothes and kicks for that. But every morning, as he scrambles to get out the door to the bus, he is grabbing stuff and throwing it in his bag. Hence the rule about getting things ready at night. But then again, I don’t know how he can find anything in his room, considering it is a total mess,… another rule broken. He isn’t one of those teenagers that spends time in his room, but it is a hell hole, despite the fact that they all are supposed to keep their rooms picked up.
I don’t get him sometimes. He is the oldest, almost 16, the one who should be the most responsible. But he is worse than the other three put together. He is never outwardly rude to me, like talking back or anything like that. But he is so absorbed in himself and his life, that nothing else even registers on his radar. He and Corey both do it and I am tired of it. I am tired of being taken for granted without even a thought beyond themselves. Neither one of them ever stops and thinks about how they treat me. Neither one of them ever stops and thinks about the fact that there isn’t some house fairy that comes in and takes care everything for this family, it is just me. They are so wrapped up in their lives that they forget that being a SAHM doesn’t mean I have a ton of time on my hands. I get up earlier than they do and I am busy all day long, usually far busier than they are. They have no appreciation for how much I do because they are never here to see me doing it. So it is easy for them to not think about it. But that doesn’t give them the right to be so self-absorbed. I am really sick of the lack of appreciation for all I do for this family. Everyone else and their wants and needs come first and no one even thinks about what they are asking of me to get their wants and needs fulfilled. It doesn’t even occur to them to think about what I may want or need. I feel invisibile sometimes, lonely in house with a bunch of people. And it is my husband and oldest child that are the worst, the same two who should be better behaved. I would expect this from the younger ones, but they aren’t NEARLY as bad as Corey and Donovan.
I guess that is my biggest problem with this family, the lack of respect and appreciation. I feel used, taken for granted. I feel like I don’t matter in this house as anything other than a provider, a maid. The fact that I am a person, with thoughts, feelings, needs, and wants of my own doesn’t seem to matter to them.
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Mood: annoyed Weather: partly cloudy, high of 61° TV: The Today Show
Saturday, 10 May 2008 at 10:11 am EDT
